The Pacemaker Difibrillator on Display
It’s that time of year again where layers of winter clothes can no longer hide the metal box in my chest from the rest of the world.
The first couple of hot days that I wear t-shirts or tanks are always quite strange. It’s easy for me to forget about my pacemaker/defibrillator (I call it my “Kicker”) while I’m out and about, because it’s just part of my body now. But today was an eye opener. I see people staring at my chest wherever I go; kids wondering what it is protruding from my bony clavicle, the bank teller, the girl in the shop, and the list goes on. People try not to stare but it’s the double take that gives them away. I can actually see their thoughts taking form in their brains trying to comprehend “what IIIS that in her chest?!” (Also, if they just asked I would be happy to show off my high tech piece of machinery).
I’ll get used to it just like I have every other summer since the Kicker was implanted —I just forget how “naked” it feels now that I have nothing to cover it up with. Yet, I’ve always made sure not to hide my Kicker. I am proud of her and I find that if you walk through life feeling ashamed of something it will do some damage to your psyche in the long run.
So, stare away everyone. This Kicker is keeping my heart healthy and strong and pumping every day. It is there to tell you that this woman is a warrior.
1 year ago • 2 notes
